What Happened?

Processed with VSCO with g3 presetSometimes life feels heavy. This morning I woke up and immediately felt the weight of my responsibilities pressing on my chest. So naturally, I sat watching Facebook videos, mindlessly scrolling through Pinterest, and so on. I knew that I had a lot to do so I avoided it until it was almost time to leave for church. I felt like I should go to church, but I was also worried I wouldn’t get everything else done today. The importance of my schedule was what was making me stress, and I was neglecting time with God because of it.

God is a little more important than Facebook videos or a perfect schedule. Lately, I have been feeling convicted of not wanting to spend as much time in His Presence as I have before. And it is not like God loves me any less because of it, but I still don’t feel right about it. I have been letting the mundaneness of everything else get in the way of my Father. This past week I have been moving into a new apartment with my mom, which includes a lot of packing up old things. While going through my room I stumbled across my old discipleship notebook from when I was a sophomore in high school. It was bursting with pages of notes, excerpts from scripture, drawings, lyrics, everything I wrote in my first few years as a believer. I was so in love with Jesus when I was writing it. I then thought to myself “What happened?” It hurt thinking that but it was how I felt. Has my God changed since I wrote all of this? Has His faithfulness changed as much as mine? Did I forget what the Gospel really means? The Gospel demands a response.


What happened?


“But I have to…” are the four little words I have been placing in front of my faith. Your spiritual health is significantly more important than the five minutes of your day you were going to spend on homework, social media, or whatever else. If I made God as much of a priority as I do work and school, I could be so different.

But this morning, I absolutely did not want to go to church. The funny thing is, I love Sundays. I love going to church, I love my church family, I love to worship, I love when Tucker shows up at my door with coffee, I love dressing up a little, I love it. But this morning everything else was pulling the sheets back over my head as I wasted the minutes going by. “But I want to spend time with God!” I thought to myself. And in the midst of my stubborn dilemma, I remembered something pretty important: you don’t have to be at church to spend time with God.

You don’t have to be in a Bible study/worship setting to feel His Presence. Sometimes you can be with Him in a coffee shop. You can go on a #coffeedate with Jesus, so that is exactly what I did. I slapped on some makeup, put on a dress and Birks, was thankful I curled my hair yesterday and went out the door. This morning Provision Coffee was my church and it was just what I needed. I sat down with my coffee and read through Proverbs. I sketched in my little journaling section next to Isaiah 35. I was able to go at my own pace and read whatever I wanted. I feel like we easily forget how wonderful it is to have access to THE LIVING WORD OF GOD. We talk about ways to use it and how great it is to have it but we fail to utilize it on a daily basis. Today I also learned that there is never a valid excuse to avoid time with God (He literally created the time you are wasting). Everything else is here today and gone tomorrow. God is the only infinite thing we have in this countdown of a world, so I pray I am able to make better use of the time He has given me.


I want to encourage anyone reading this who might be in the same place as me today. Maybe you don’t like going to church, maybe you don’t own a Bible, maybe you do and it’s buried under all the priorities you’ve placed on top of it. But our God does not require us to seek Him in one specific way. If you oversleep church, it doesn’t mean He wants to wait until next Sunday at 9:45 to catch up with you. He wants to spend time with you right now, wherever you are in life. Church is a great way to grow in fellowship, worship, and learn about Him, but Sunday morning is not the only time He wants to spend with you. Worship Him on your drive to work, set alarms on your phone to remind you to pray, write down a verse somewhere you can see it and pray over it this week.  Seek Him and He will show up. Because there is no better rest, encouragement, joy, or love you will ever find than in the presence of your Father.


One thing have I asked of the Lord,
    that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
    all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord
    and to inquire in his temple.

{Psalm 27:4}



Thanks for reading everyone! I have some exciting news…I’m getting a new work schedule next week which means I can start writing more! My goal is one blog post a week (please remember I also am a student who works full time so have a little grace if that doesn’t always happen). If you have any prayer requests/blog post suggestions/pictures of your dog you want to share please feel free to shoot me an email. ♡

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