“Exactly Where You Need to Be”

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Processed with VSCO with t1 preset

This morning I woke up to the sound of my fiancé puking his guts out. Not necessarily the best thing to wake up to on your day off. Disclaimer: we do not live together and he slept in a different room #waiting. Immediately following my unexpected wake up a thought popped into my head. I thought about going into my backyard, doing yoga to worship music, and meditating on the word. It was such a pleasant idea, that I completely ignored. Isn’t it funny how God kind of urges us to come to Him when He knows we’ll need it?

Okay, flashback to Friday afternoon. Tucker got sick, like really sick. When I arrived home from work he was asleep in my house? Yeah, kind of odd. Confused, I woke him up to see what was going on. He said he didn’t really feel good so I left and let him sleep. I went to dinner with one of my best friends, had a grand time, and completely ignored the fact that Tucker was miserable back at home. I got back and realized I had made a mistake. Tucker was still a mess, still had a fever, and was still in the exact same spot I had left him.

As the night went by he got worse and worse. I’ll spare you the gory details but he started acting strangely. My mom and I both agreed that he shouldn’t drive home. He slept in the guest bedroom with a washcloth on his head and a bucket next to the bed. I used my room and my mom’s bathroom to live and kept Tucker under strict quarantine. This brings us to this morning with Tucker being even sicker. I checked on him only to selfishly assumed he’d be fine and went on with my day.

I decided to go check up on him later in the day and give his mom a call. He wasn’t getting any better at all and we were starting to get really worried. His mom came over and we decided we needed to go to a doctor. We went to the ER in case it was something worse than what they could help with at Urgent Care. On the drive there I checked in to the ER online so maybe we wouldn’t have to wait as long. When we arrived to check in they called me. We went over symptoms, age, height, and all that jazz. I mentioned to the woman that we were already there and had just checked in. Her response shook me to my core.

“I think you are exactly where you need to be.”

That’s not the most comforting statement to hear when you are taking someone you love to the hospital. It’s comforting to know we are in the right place but it is equally terrifying thinking we need to be in the emergency room.

“I think you guys are exactly where you need to be.” really humbled me. Here I am thinking okay we’ll take him in, get the answer we want to hear, and be on our way. Little did I know he was showing symptoms of meningitis (which is actually very serious) and we would be at the hospital for hours.

I feel like sometimes we go to God to “get better” and don’t really realize how big our own problems really are. Or sometimes we go to God because we think we have to and He immediately humbles us into realizing actually honey, YOU HAVE TO. Maybe when I woke up this morning God was trying to get me to spend time with Him to prepare me for a stressful day.  Today God helped me remember that He is not only someone who wants a relationship with us but someone who can humble us in a split second. My prayer for the next week/month/whatever is that I am able to cling to Him at all times. That I am able to wake up and crave quality time with him (and not just when my anxiety starts tearing me up in a hospital waiting room).

And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

I needed to prepare my heart for the unexpected this morning. I pray that I don’t ignore opportunities that God presents for me to spend time with Him. Life throws some mean curveballs and we cannot always handle it in our own power. But with the peace that surpasses all understanding that comes only from God, things do not have to seem so terrifying.

Update: Tucker is doing a lot better. He is on bed rest and is not allowed to eat Five Guys until at least Monday (because that was his biggest concern). We still are not sure if he has meningitis. His blood tests came back with great results so we are hopeful that it is just a bug and that things can get back to normal soon. Prayers would definitely be appreciated while we wait for him to get better.

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