I feel like a common misconception about Satan is that he uses crazy big things to attack us. Satan is known for being so awful so it kinda makes sense he will go after us in a way that will reflect that horribleness. And I am not saying he doesn’t. At least in my personal experience with spiritual warfare it’s the little things. Satan tries to get in my head in a big way through the little things that go wrong. For example, today.
Today I woke up and turned off my alarm. Rookie mistake. Unfortunately for me I woke up 30 mins later than I had planned. I am currently attending a conference in Irvine for leaders who love the local church. Which means if I am running late I can make my whole team late. I didn’t have time to grab my laptop so I left it on my nightstand. After stumbling out of my room I realized I had some bad cramps. I get ovarian cysts so getting cramps is always a scary experience that makes me assume the worst. So I trudge into the van feeling completely defeated. In there I greet my lovely boyfriend who brought me some cereal because he knew I overslept breakfast. I tried to eat but I was in too much pain to have an appetite. So I sat with my head against the row in front of me on the verge of tears.
Tucker rubbed my back and did his best to cheer me up. He told me how beautiful I was but I decided to focus on the negative. I was mad, I started blaming other people for my mistakes. I thought things like “Well if they were actually on time last night I wouldn’t have overslept!” and “If I didn’t have so much homework last night I could’ve gone to bed earlier. They don’t understand how hard it is to work full time and go to school!” Dumb stuff like that. I then realized that I forgot my lanyard and more importantly my caffeine. Your lanyard is basically your ticket to the conference and I didn’t feel like shelling out $100 to get in if they noticed I wasn’t wearing one. UGH. I slumped down more in my seat. And took the ibuprofen Tucker brought for me for the caffeine.
I didn’t have time to do my makeup this morning so I brought it with me in my backpack. Or so I thought. I opened my bag and it wasn’t there…lovely. So now I felt sick, gross, overtired, and UGLY. I am still working on being positive about the way I look and wearing makeup gives me some confidence. So that’s where I was at, and it was only 8 am.
As the morning went by there were more and more little things I let get to me. But my team saw me and noticed. I was slumped down in my seat at this conference. Before the first session they had these giant balloons filled with confetti bouncing around the church. My friend Tyler decided to run down to the lower level, snag one of the balloon things, and run back up to where we were. Before I could blink he popped the balloon all over me and confetti covered my whole body. It was awesome. It made my morning just a little bit better. And throughout the morning there were more and more little things to feel better about. I just had to acknowledge those things over my bad attitude/negativity.
Jesus can be found in even the crummiest situations we just have to seek Him. If any of you have ever seen the third (and best) Harry Potter film there is a quote that is crazy relatable to choosing this joy. “”Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” There are so many things to be happy about in my life I just have to focus on those. I want to make it my new daily goal to see (and seek) the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13).
And as the day went by I saw Him. I was walking out of the first session and I saw a woman wearing a shirt that said “NOT TODAY SATAN” It was kind of like some weird confirmation that God saw me and He wanted me to know that He was proud of me for seeking Him. That was my new mindset of the morning. Not today Satan.
We left the conference early to get some beach time. My group headed back to the hotel to grab our beach stuff. I ran to the room still slightly anxious about my laptop I left out in the open in my room. It was still there! I turned around to see if my makeup bag was on the dresser and…nope. I checked everywhere but it wasn’t anywhere to be found. My friend Kelly helped me search for it but we absolutely couldn’t find it. I said “Whatever, at least I have my laptop!” and left for the beach.
I am in California. Why should I waste my time being upset about not being able to find a bag full of face paint that will ultimately only make me break out more? And guess what! I still had a great time at the beach! I wasn’t wearing makeup and I didn’t care. I got to hang out with some awesome people, drink a chocolate banana milkshake, spend some time in the sun, and enjoy this beautiful place our amazing God created.
We returned to our hotel and instead of looking for my makeup I took a nap. A long nap after spending the afternoon in the sun is one of the best little things in life. I woke up and decided to try to find my makeup bag (not really thinking I could find it). Being patient when I can’t find things is something I struggle with. I usually can keep myself composed in bad situations. But if I lose my car keys and you didn’t know you’d think my life was ending or something.
Let me tell you I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes but I love me some fancy makeup. I have two makeup bags (yeah, it’s that bad). One is filled with my drugstore makeup and the other is filled with my overpriced makeup. This is the one that I am convinced literally grew legs and walked out of my room. I checked everywhere y’all! I called the front desk and checked the lost and found. Under the bed, in all the drawers, behind the TV, in the shower, in the trash, IN THE FREEZER. My bag wasn’t anywhere to be found. I don’t know if I’ll ever find it but that’s life. They are just possessions that I have a tendency to idolize and idolize myself because of.
It was a still great day. There are so many more blessings to be joyful about than hardships to mope about. The sun will rise tomorrow even if my Anastasia highlighter isn’t shining in its light. God is still so good.